a colored spectrum

explosion

everyone scolded me today. all in a matter of 4 hours...
when it rains, it pours. no mercy. when there's a fire, it explodes into a ball of flames...!

Don scolded me for doing last minute revision and not having the recommended text.
he tested me on Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot, Vietnam and Geneva Conference.
ie various developements in mainland SEA during late 1940s-1970s n their legacies.
i couldn't answer... do you expect Don to be happy with my performance?

but i know that whatever Don says or wants me to do, or the lack of it.
it's for my own good.
more often than not, i am so blur that i don't even realize what i am doing is wrong.

Grandma scolded me. for not being hardworking enough.
always sleeping or playing console games...
otherwise, i'll be chilling at Siglap over coffee. waste of time.

Mummy scolded me for shopping or escaping to beach resorts whenever i return to Bangkok rather than learning how to write Thai or read Thai... she scolded me for being a slacker...
and not having any directions in life except to be an air stewardess... what a loser...!

even Daddy scolded me too! he normally doesn't scold me... =(
he felt that i can't express my themes properly. i cannot write convincingly.
i have no clear strong stand or opinion, i am always sitting on the fence.
and i don't read alot, so many events and significances i do not know.
everytime when he calls home, i am rushing off to the library.
he thought i went there to do further research.
now he thinks that i went to school to play with friends and sleep so can expect to fail this semester.

so... no more vacation to Hong Kong...
gonna be grounded... no more cash incentive of $650!!!
grandma is going to watch me like a hawk!!! reminds me of primary school discipline...!
i've not clubbed for 5 months... don't think they will let me go clubbing now...
my family's suddenly enlightened to what i have been doing. they assumed that i had been on the right ship, sailing along the right course. for all they knew, i've been chasing the wrong target.
though i alwiz get B or B+, it's not good enough for them.

i just want to go back Grandpa's house in Thailand to pluck coconuts and plant rice...

met Michele for dinner. so enjoyable! chat over jap meal at Paragon.
haven't done that for ages. our dinners could go on for ages.... heehee
walked down the supermarlet aisle's playing with various fruit cakes and Ben & Jerry's ice cream.
poked sashimi and fish roe *grin grin*
Marks & Spencer's pretty chocolates and biscuits in lovely tin boxes!
Christmas is coming. goodie. time to celebrate. time to buy presents. time to recieve presents.
wil plan for a Christmas gathering so cheer up people!

i am materialistic *so proud of it*
Christmas is not a time to share, love, hope, care or do charity etc etc. what bullshit..!
Christmas is time to spend spend spend. $$$$. hear the ker-ching of the cash register???
the sweetest sound.

if wanna go charitable deeds, share love, joy, hope and warmth with people around you...?
then do it everyday of the year. not once a year and for just one day! such hypocrisy...
similarly, if you're a Christian, then go to church every week to attend sermons.
read the scriptures. apply them to your daily life. ask God for guidance in all decisions.
don't be a nominal Christian. don't question why you have to go to church. humble yourself more.
reluctant to attend service coz you don't like people at your church?
then change and find a suitable congregation.

i've found mine =) i like my catholic church. the Holy Trinity. and OLPS.
thank you Gabriel, Jeremy, Ian, Eunice, Jared, Andy, Zhuo Min, Carol, Angela and Auntie Susan.
thank you for being my spiritual support network. showering me with love and anchoring my faith.
May we hold on and encourage each other to grow Christ-like.
let us not lost any hope or trust in Our Lord.

the piece of purple flower motif top i want from MNG is gone... GONE!!! *horror*
i am so sad... i wanted that top so much... waited so long and finally decided to buy it after 3 months... only to find out that the season is over! boohoohoo!
now it's full of earth tone tweeds, wool and curdoroy... nothing sexy and sleek..! *frown*

never mind... Jared getting his leave in Dec. goodie! finally can go shopping! *brims with joy*
i tried the new Women's Ranch Style Jeans @ Levis. $159.00.
but i am going to buy it! so sleek and sexy! feels very comfortable too... can jump around!
but everything would depend on Jared's approval.
his fashion sense is rather keen and sharp =)
so i won't buy the wrong clothes, then go home and start to regret... (the usual case that is)

don't know what's wrong with Joshua today. should be suffering from PMS...
kinda pissed for God-knows-what-reason. don't really wanna talk to me.
whatever lah... i don't want to firgure out. not coz i don't bother, but i don't think there's a need to.
he also admitted that he's in bad mood. oh well.... *pat pat on Doggie's head*

Michele darling! so when are you getting attached to Jon? *wink wink*
still "non-committed" to time infinity, no? i think it's a good idea too.
whatever it is, i'm supporting your decision. no rush to get attached =)
don't get invloved with someone, commit to a relationship and end up regretting...
then live in dilemma. rather psychologically unhealthy that way.
let God work miracles in His time. we do not dictate what God bestows or when He should.
i believe that as long as you remain hopeful, stay just as sweet as you are now,
God would shower you with rich blessings at the end. *hugs*

posted by Veen @ 16:33